Updated November 1, 2020 by Clarisse
There was a time when I didn’t have enough confidence in the things that I was doing. In fact, it was safe to say that I wasn’t confident in myself. I second-guessed almost everything.
I did know that I wanted to have an outgoing personality with a social life.
But I couldn’t figure out how to do it.
I didn’t know that I had to work on myself first before I could achieve what I desired.
It took a lot of work and a bit of time to get to where I am now. I know that it can be hard to take the plunge in doing something new.
I’ve highlighted a few things below that I learned during the process.
I want to share this so that it doesn’t take you as long as I did in the beginning.
Ready? Well then, let’s dive into the first thing that changed everything for me.
Shift Your Mindset
Right then and there, when you’re about to do something bold, what do you think of?
I used to think that I might get rejected or feel deflated from trying and it doesn’t work out.
These thoughts were what was holding me back from living the life I wanted. Little did I know that I was losing out on opportunities anytime I would talk myself out of doing something.
It took me quite a while to understand that the fear of rejection held me back more times than I can count.
Can you relate to that? I’m sure of it.
So now what? Now, it’s time to shift your mindset. Learn to keep positive thoughts in your head while disregarding the negative ones.
One trick that I learned to do is through telling myself:
“If you don’t ask, the answer is always no” – Nora Roberts.
This quote has always helped me get through when I felt like retreating into my shell. It guided me in finding the confidence and voice that I needed at that time.
You can use this quote or find a different one that works for you. But say this mantra over and over again in your head and then do what you need to do.
Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
Yes, while this is easier said than done, this is an important step to take in becoming more social and confident. This goes hand-in-hand with the step right before this one.
Do things that will push you out of the boundaries you have set for yourself.
Give yourself a challenge of the day. One thing that you will do that will help you come out of your comfort zone.
It could be as simple as trying a new dish at a restaurant. You could even go further and tell yourself that you will compliment a random stranger today.
Whatever the task is, stay true to it and don’t back down.
Try doing something new every day. You’ll find yourself gaining confidence a lot faster than you might think you’re capable of.
Accept Who You Are
This was the biggest game-changer for me. Once I started accepting who I was, my confidence shot through like you couldn’t imagine.
Don’t be embarrassed by you who you are and embrace everything there is to love about you.
Love yourself first, and the people around you will see it. Know that everything begins from within.
Don’t be afraid to turn your weaknesses into strengths. Your quirkiness and uniqueness is a big part of what makes you who you are.
To become more confident, you need to learn that these things are your most powerful assets.
Honestly, this was something I had a hard time with in the beginning. There were many times where I felt disconnected from the world because I didn’t understand how I would fit into it.
But that’s the thing; you don’t have to fit into society’s view.
Do your own thing, and share it proudly with the world.
You’ll see that you’d be one step closer to achieving the confidence you aspire to have. As well as a social circle that will accept you exactly for who you are.
Take a Genuine Interest
Have you ever heard the phrase “Be interested, be interesting”? This is a motto that I live by every day since the first time I heard it.
This quote has helped me many times take the initiative in living a life that’s off the beaten path. More importantly, it encouraged me to ask questions and show interest in the people around me.
This is a big step towards your goal of being more social.
If you are genuine with your actions, people will feel that you truly care about them. This is one of the keys to becoming a person that people want to be around.
Say Yes to Opportunities that Come Your Way
Listen, this one is one of the biggest takeaways you can get after reading this article.
If an opportunity presents itself, don’t talk yourself out of it. Learn to say yes to the possibilities and awesomeness in life that come your way.
Why is this one so important? Because you can’t shut the world off and have a social and confident life. All of this requires you to be pushed outside of your comfort zone.
It means taking the time to say yes to those make-or-break moments that come in your life.
Take the Plunge
This point is a continuation of the one above.
In a nutshell: take a deep breath and just do it.
Remember, the worst thing that can happen when you take the plunge is learning from the experience.
I know that this is scary.
You could find a million ways and a million reasons to talk yourself out of doing what you need to do. But, if you truly want to live a life overflowing with confidence, I want you to give this a try.
Go for the things that you want to do.
Again, this could be as simple as starting a small conversation with a stranger. Of course, you can always challenge yourself more. For this one, you could try attending a random meetup you find on a Facebook group.
Either way, set a goal and take the necessary steps needed to get there.
Count to three, then stop thinking about it and spring into action. You’ll be thankful you did it.
Travel the World
I’ll be honest, this is a bit of unconventional advice.
But I want you to know that I gained most of the social and confident abilities I have now while exploring the world.
Traveling has a way of pushing you out of your comfort zone. It forces you into clearing the boundaries you have set for yourself.
It teaches you how to make friends and how to project confidence. Things you didn’t even know you had in you.
How does travel do this?
Because taking on unique adventures will put you in uncertain situations. There is nothing familiar when you’re traveling. Everything is different and continues to be every step of the way.
Traveling allows you to be free and to go through life with a goal but a flexible plan to accomplish it.
In turn, this allows you to learn so much about going for what you want in life.
Get your next dose of inspiration: Why Do People Travel?
Find Ways to Meet People
I don’t think this one requires as much explanation. Just know that you have to take the initiative if you want to meet new people.
There are many ways to do this. Here are a few examples:
- Take advantage of social events around town
- Use Facebook groups
- Join a class or a sports team
Want to find out more? Check out this detailed post on “How to Make Friends”
Don’t Let the Fear of Rejection Get in the Way
Rejection is some of our biggest fears.
But, if you learn to take things lightly, you will be one step closer to confidence.
Laugh a little when things don’t go the way you had it in your head.
Know that being social doesn’t mean that you will become friends with everyone.
It does mean that you will have the capacity to get to know other people in this world. People that are interesting enough for you to want to find out more about.
Throughout this journey, you won’t always have a win situation.
Remember, it is in those times that we allow ourselves to try and fail where we learn the most. It allows us the opportunity to grow and become a better version of ourselves.
So the next time you get rejected, know that there will always be a second chance with the next person.
Know that You are Doing This For Yourself
The fact that you’re here reading this means that you want to make changes in your life to become a better you.
If being social and confident is something you want to have in life, then know that trying any of the above is all for you.
You are the only person capable of changing yourself. Everything starts from within.
I hope that I have given you the tools to achieve this goal you have set for yourself.
What are you waiting for? Go out there and take a step towards living an off the beaten path life!
If you have any questions you want answered, please leave a comment below.
As always, thank you for being a reader of LiveLifeOTBP. I can’t wait to see where this journey takes you.